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7) She's so difficult Saffy

I’m drifting apart /getting annoyed with/ losing interest in one of my mates. I thought she was a good mate until about two weeks ago. She is so fake sometimes; she sort of changes her personality to go with whoever she hangs out with (right now she’s with a group that basically diet like hell, smoke and get drunk). Last year she was quiet because her friend was quiet, The year before she was a bully. Now she talks behind people’s backs - she can’t stick with people either. So I’m sick of her. And I want to tell her to go away, (kindly). Reply

re: She's so difficult Host - Charlie 

I know too many people like that, unfortunately. Thing is, that lots of them are very nice, but unfortunately very gullible and easily lead people. I gave up a long time ago trying to make sure they were hanging around with the 'right' people. I think everyone is like that to a point though. We're all influenced by the people around us.

I don't think you should necessarily push her away, but just don't encourage her. It sounds like you're a pretty stable person, and spending some time with you might do her good. Try to explain to her that you want to see the real her, and not a person that's influenced by other people too much. Encourage her to be her own person, and make her own decisions. Reply

Wow: You're such a great agony aunt!! I had the same problem and you have solved it for me too!! Thanks a lot! Reply

re: She's so difficult Saffy

I know, I know, but I hate feeling like I've been used, especially because we were meant to be good friends. Yeah, we get influenced by people, but it's like she goes to the point of deserting her own life for them. And I'm sick of her phoning really late at night going on about how drunk she feels, and how she's done this and that... like she is seriously going to get hurt someday, only she's too stupid to notice. I've got a bit of a reputation for being a goody goody, and I don't think she'd bother listening to me. Besides, it's like we don't know what to say to each other any more  because we've become so estranged. Truthfully, I'm kind of sick of her, and I can't be bothered if she's so reckless. Reply

re: She's so difficult Host - Charlie 

Friends are difficult things. There's nothing wrong with being a goody goody, and it sounds like maybe a bit of that could be done with being rubbed off on her. It's sounds like you are worried, in spite of what you say. Some people don't realise that they're hurting other people. Why not invite her around, or to a film or something, and perhaps spending the day with you might remind her what a good friend you are, and how perhaps her other friends are only temporary, and not worth upsetting and losing old faithfuls like you for.  Reply

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