Real Life

by Helen

"I won my Battle with Anorexia"

"When I started secondary school, I began to believe I was fat, even though I never have been. I cut out all junk food from my diet, and began to exercise a lot more. I ate less and less. My weight dropped from eight-and-a-half stone to six stone.

Six months later, I brought my weight back up to seven-and-a-half stone with the help of a psychiatrist, but the anorexia was still in control. I began to get more obsessed about exercising. 

I pretended to mum and dad that I was eating properly, but actually threw it away, or hid it. 

Whenever I looked in the mirror, the anorexia voice would say: 'you've still got to get rid of that fat there.'

Very soon my weight loss became very noticeable. I was stick-thin, my face gaunt and colourless, my skin dry and rough. I lost all my confidence and became withdrawn and moody.

If mum or dad wanted to weigh me at home, I would weigh myself and say it was more than it was, or put things in my pockets to make me look heavier than I was. 

In four months, I had reached my lowest weight of five stone. I was no longer able to attend school.

Finally, I was admitted to a special unit for teenagers with mental problems and eating disorders, a long way from home. Part of me was relieved that I was getting help at last, but the anorexia part of me was very angry.

I had to stay in bed for two weeks to build my strength up. The doctors told me I had burnt off all my fat and was beginning to burn off muscle from my heart, and could have died from a heart attack .

A member of staff had to sit outside my room 24 hours a day to make sure I ate all my meals and just rested. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere alone. 

I missed my home: family and friends, but they came to visit me lots, and phoned me every night.

Four months on, I managed to get my weight up to eight-and-a-half stone. It was tough, but my family, friends and the staff kept me focused. I realised that I wanted to get out of there. I wanted to be normal again.

This was a year ago. Anorexia still creeps back in, but thanks to my own willpower and my family's support, I have never let my weight drop below eight stone. I still love to exercise, but only to keep fit. I've learnt to be comfortable with my body."

Read our Anorexia Pages